Nine simple things you can do to make yourself (and strangers) smile more
29 Apr
I know your mom taught you not to talk to strangers, but I’m here to tell you that you’re missing out on a lot if you always walk with your head down and try to avoid eye contact or friendly exchanges with strangers.
That doesn’t mean you need to buddy up to the creepy guy in the parking deck elevator. But it does mean it’s time to stop living in your own little bubble. Life is about experiences. So loosen up and have some fun.
Try some of these:
* Compliment strangers. If you see a woman in the waiting room in an adorable dress, tell her you like it. The small remark could easily brighten someone’s day.
* Mean it when you ask someone how they are. There’s nothing worse than an insincere “How are you?” from a check-out lady, a co-worker or acquaintance. If you’re going to ask someone how they are, ask it with a little sincerity. And if they seem like they’re not doing so hot, take the time to ask a follow up question and listen to them (unless, of course, it’s obvious they want to be left alone). If you don’t care how someone is, don’t ask them.
* Challenge yourself to answer the question “How are you?” without using generic words like “fine,” “OK,” “alright,” or “good.” If you’re having a good day, try saying “I’m having a lot of fun today, thanks for asking.” If your life sucks, try saying “could be better, could be worse.” Please just don’t say “fine” anymore.
* Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves (that’s why there are so many blogs). So if you’re shopping at a garage sale and you have a question about a whacky item, ask the hosts what’s up with it. If you’re travelling and there’s a non-creepy stranger who looks like a local nearby, ask them about the area, where to eat, etc.
* Take a different route to school, work, the gym, etc. We become complacent with the neighbors, businesses, parks, etc. that we pass on our commutes. We know how long it will take us, whether we’ll catch that red light or not, and other nuances of travelling the same route every day. But you might be surprised what you’ll discover if you add an extra 10 minutes to your drive or bike ride and take a few different roads.
* Smile. It’s so easy to do. A sincere, toothy-grin can sometimes change someone’s entire perspective of you or their situation.
* Sing out loud. I’m an awful singer. I can’t even sing an entire song on Rock Band on the easy setting (despite being able to play guitar on hard). But you better believe that when Ace of Base comes on the ’90s station, I have no shame and pretend like the sign opened up my eyes while I’m driving down the road. If you can’t sing, dance.
* Ask for help. Don’t have so much pride that you waste 10 minutes wandering around Lowe’s looking for a bolt when you can just as easily ask the person in the vest to help. Often, when you ask for help, you’ll learn something new.
* Be a kid again. If you’re wandering through a sporting good store and there’s a skee ball table on display, play a quick game. If you see a kid selling lemonade on the corner, stop your car, dig out some change and buy a cup (and always pay more than what the kid is charging). Play peek-a-boo with the toddler sitting in the cart in front of you in the check-out line. Blow bubbles. Play hopscotch.
Am I out of line? Do you have any easy living tips to add?
What great ideas!
I actually have done a few of your suggestions and you are so right! And now I’ll try the rest! Nice post!
Even though I have done all of these, I am not consistent and need to remember to KEEP ON doing them. May I add that I find a kind comment to someone who is upset (like the angry lady behind me at BJs the other day) really helps “de-fuse” the person?! Sometimes it’s the ones who might irritate us or others who can end up smiling like that lady did after I complimented her on a purchase she was making.
Thank you for sharing and caring and making the world a better place.
blessings,
marcy
I love this posting! I’m going to link to it from my blog. Thanks for being YOU, Ginny!
Awesome post Ginny!
One question: What makes that guy the “creepy” guy? I’ve always wondered this – how does a guy look not creepy?
I mean, there’s the obvious, don’t stare, don’t hover, don’t invade someone’s personal space, etc. My thing is, you can be a perfectly normal guy trying to be helpful or just hoping to strike up a conversation with someone, and all of a sudden the “creepy” comes out.
Perhaps it’s a question of awkwardness. Awkward=creepy when no one else is around, while awkward=funny/strange when there’s a crowd. Consider it the Prince Paradigm.
Thanks again for another great post. You keep ‘em coming, and I’ll continue embracing my awkwardness!
Best,
Sid.
Sid,
Wow, you pose an interesting question. I get where you’re coming from about awkward v. creepy, and there’s definitely a difference between the two. Sometimes the difference can be difficult to peg (particularly when you’re dealing with a stranger). But to me it sounds like like you’re aware of the obvious ways to avoid coming off as creepy (not staring, not hovering, etc.) in a one-on-one situation. It’s a shame that women have to assume the worst of men in one-on-one situations (like elevators, parking decks, etc.) but it’s smarter for us to assume the worst in those places than to be sorry. Thanks for the thought-provoking comment.
Hi Ginny,
I’m “visiting” you from your Mother’s blog. Your suggestions will make the receiver and the giver happier – just as it should be.
Have a great weekend – I’m smiling at you!
Ginny I so enjoyed your “nine” list. It’s a way of living and we all should be reminded every now and then. Thank you for sharing Ginny, your mum must be very proud of such a wonderful daughter. Hope you have a beautiful weekend…..God Bless, Bernie
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